As many of you may already be aware, I have a minor obsession with Geek & Sundry’s Critical Role. Basically it’s the best ever. I’m always a little sad that I lack the skills to add to the collection of beautiful fan art. Instead, I decided to take a stab at a little Critmas poem!
‘Twas the night before Critmas, when all through the keep
Vox Machina members were all fast asleep.
The magic blue poo was set out with care,
In hopes that Pike’s image soon would be there.
Vex and Trinket were nestled snug in their bed,
While visions of shiny things danced in her head.
And Vax with Simon once more at his waist,
Nearly shaved Grog’s beard but thought it would be in poor taste.
When out in the garden there arose such a clatter,
Keyleth sprang from her bed to see what was the matter.
Percy awoke and went out to the hall,
While Scanlan rolled over and gave no fucks at all.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of midday to objects below.
When finally the party members made it out,
From nowhere, “Roll Perception!” a voice did shout.
With eager excitement, their fingers did fly
As one and all searched for just the right die.
It was Mercer who spoke, the master of game,
And with a smile, he called each player out by name.
“Now Percy! Now Keyleth!
Now Scanlan and Vax!
Roll, Vex! Roll, Trinket!
Roll Grog and Pike!
Look out in the garden,
A beast coming over the wall!
Now roll away! Roll away!
Roll away all!
UPDATE: Find part two here!