This Week’s High-Speed Chase

This Week’s High-Speed Chase: Christmas Burnout Edition

Much like the Thanksgiving burnout that we all experience (we can only eat so many Turkey Cranberry sandwiches), here are websites that offer Christmas relief now that the holiday is over:

The Food

Fruitcake Toss: Colorado has the perfect remedy for all of that gorram fruitcake, and it involves brains as well as brawn! Build a catapult or devise a launching system (hell, use Aunt Marge’s outrageously large brassiere) and see how far your fruitcake can go!

The Music

Still can’t get those Christmas carols out of your head? Perhaps try creating a parody of your favorite, much like my all-time beloved parody below:

The Cleanup

Are you dreading the moment when you have to take down the Christmas tree? Never fear! Here are some great ideas to make the task less daunting:

  • Parents! Your children are still on their holiday break and may need something to help pass the time. Create a cleanup game such as . . .
    • Gather ornaments of the same color/type/size/etc.
    • Help mom/dad wind up and store the lights (here’s to a tangle-free Christmas 2015!)
    • Pack boxes like a Tetris master
  • For those with a real tree, use the timber to create a bonfire for a New Year’s Eve gathering. (Remember to have a safe bonfire and to contact your local fire department with any questions. Keep your fire department’s number on speed dial!)
  • For those with a fake tree, why take it down at all? How about we only remove the ornaments and redecorate the tree to suit whatever occasion happens to arise? (I have done this one before, and I regret nothing.)
    • A Springtime Tree — imagine all the places to hide Easter eggs!
    • A Birthday Tree — still a rad place to store presents!
    • A Summer Tree?? — this is a bit of a stretch, tbh. But you can have a craft day where your kids/friends/you can paint Styrofoam citrus fruit to decorate!
    • An Autumn Tree — great for both Halloween and Thanksgiving! You can decorate specific to either holiday (ghosts and jack’o’lanterns or turkeys and pilgrims) or keep it generalized with autumn colors, leaves, and gourds.
    • And it comes back around to WINTER AND CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAS!!!

I hope this helps, folks. At any rate, we’re all starting to plan our New Year’s extravaganzas, so Godspeed. Steady on, partiers, and remember to be responsible with your New Year’s shenanigans. I look forward to starting 2015 with you!

Leave a Comment